Sleep problems are rampant among caregivers -- although they often try to hide this fact from family members and the person they're caring for, out of misplaced worry that it's selfish to complain.

Caregivers also get embarrassed about lack of sleep for another reason: "I felt like not being able to sleep well was just another thing I was failing at," says TV-radio personality Leeza Gibbons, founder of the Leeza's Place communities for caregivers.

Here are more tips on getting better sleep:

Recognize that you're not in a sleep-supportive situation. Caregivers often fail to realize how much tension and anxiety builds up during the day. The body holds this stress and adds it to whatever issues your loved one has that may also be upending your odds of a good night's rest.

Target the tension. Spend time in the morning and, especially, at night, simply sitting still and breathing deeply. A few slow inhalations and exhalations will literally slow your heart rate and lower your blood pressure, making your body more sleep-ready.

Keep moving through the day. There's a strong association between getting exercise by day and sleeping better at night. Even two short walks of five to ten minutes each can improve your ability to rest. Can't get out of the house? Try walking stairs.

Note the diet-sleep connection. Did you know that food cravings for salty, fatty, high-carb snacks are linked to poor sleep?

How are you sleeping? Which of the suggestions above are you doing? Which one would you like to try?

Related articles

• Who Can Help the Family Caregiver? The Former Family Caregiver (caregiving.com)
• Does Personality Play a Role in the Stress of Caregiving? (brainblogger.com)

Keith A. Wells Sr.'s photos

When an old man died in the geriatric ward of a nursing home in… North Platte , Nebraska , it was believed that he had nothing left of any value.

Later, when the nurses were going through his meager possessions, They found this poem. Its quality and content so impressed the staff that copies were made and distributed to every nurse in the hospital.

After you read it, you will see why….

Crabby Old Man

Who dribbles his food . . .. . . . . and makes no reply .

When you say in a loud voice .. . . . .. ‘I do wish you’d try!’

Who seems not to notice . … . the things that you do .

And forever is losing . . . . .. . . . . . A sock or shoe?

I’ll tell you who I am . As I sit here so still,

As I do at your bidding, . . . . . . as I eat at your will.

I’m a small child of Ten … . . . . . with a father and mother,

Brothers and sisters . . . … . . . . . who love one another.

A young boy of Sixteen . . with wings on his feet

Dreaming that soon now . . . .. .. . . a lover he’ll meet..

A groom soon at Twenty . my heart gives a leap.

Remembering, the vows . . . . .. . that I promised to keep.

At Twenty-Five, now . . . . . . . . I have young of my own.

Who need me to guide . . . . And a secure happy home.

A man of Thirty . . . . .. . . . .. My young now grown fast,

Bound to each other . . . . . . . With ties that should last.

Dark days are upon me . . my wife is now dead.

I look at the future … . .. . . . . . . shudder with dread..

For my young are all rearing . . . . . .. young of their own.

And I think of the years . . .. and the love that I’ve known.

But inside this old carcass . . a young guy still dwells,

And now and again . . . .. . . . my battered heart swells.

I remember the joys . . . . . . . . .. I remember the pain.

And I’m loving and living . . . . . .. . . . . life over again.

Caregivers focus on giving, not getting. It's the nature of the job. Even so, it's only natural to sometimes feel taken for granted by those you're helping, or to feel like your efforts are making no difference.

"Making a difference motivates women," says TV-radio personality Leeza Gibbons, who founded the Leeza's Place communities for caregivers after her late mother developed Alzheimer's disease. "When you don't see improvement or think that your loved one values your time and energy, it's really rough."

Here are more tips:

Think about what your loved one would think of your efforts if he or she were perfectly healthy. Battling illness requires a lot of self-focus and takes a lot out of your loved one. Getting positive feedback is especially difficult with a disease like Alzheimer's, where there's little discernable improvement and the person with the disease is incapable of articulating thanks. Remind yourself that your loved one, if able, would express gratitude for all you do.

Keep your eye on the big picture. If you wait for positive reinforcement for every little thing, you'll be waiting a long time. Instead, remind yourself of the overall good you're doing.

Lower the bar of your own expectations. What you're doing is making a difference -- just perhaps not as big a difference as you hoped. You may not be able to cure your loved one's disease, but providing a safe, comfortable day is huge.

Look inward for reward if you can't get it by looking outward. Applaud your own efforts by being good to yourself. Self-care helps fuel you for the tough stretches.

Related articles

• The Caregiver's Bill Of Rights (mamakitty808.wordpress.com)

By BARRY BERGER From the January 23-29, 2012 LOS ANGELES BUSINESS JOURNAL, Volume 34, Number 4, p.47, Commentary www.carenetla.net  

The aging of our population is happening at a time when government is cutting funding for social and safety net services. Is it fair, then, for government to implement unrealistic rules and regulations that only drive up costs for those who will have to pay for any additional help themselves?

IN-home care is one of California’s fastest-growing industries as our population of aging baby boomers, seniors and people with disabilities seeking supportive help at home continues to swell. Home care agencies work hard to match seniors with compatible caregivers so families can have peace of mind that their love ones are provided with the best of care.

However, onerous regulations and legislation are being proposed that could have the unintended consequences of driving up the price of in-home care, sending potential clients away from agencies such as mine that screen, train and conduct background checks of each new hire and toward online services such as Craigslist. When caregivers are hired outside of agencies, there are no consumer protections for the client, and none for the caregiver. That is, the unemployment, disability and worker’s compensation coverage that we as agencies pay for as well as the bonding and liability insurance that we purchase for our caregivers.

At issue is what is commonly called the “companion exemption.” Since 1974, in-home care has been exempt from federal overtime laws because of the nature of the job. Today, if a family needs 24-hour care for a loved one, they pay a flat daily rate. If the companion exemption is removed and overtime rules are applied, the cost of the care would double or triple.

In California, a bill sponsored by Assemblyman Tom Ammiano (D-San Francisco) not only calls for the removal of home care workers from the companion exemption, it also would mandate that workers be able to leave for lunch and be provided with 15-minute breaks – a costly proposal to implement because agencies would have to provide a second caregiver to cover each break.

The bill, AB 889, also requires that in-home care aides have eight hours of uninterrupted sleep. This is virtually impossible to promise given that seniors or people with disabilities often need assistance in the middle of the night. If a worker legally could not be awakened, the patient is put at extreme risk of suffering unnecessarily.

Also moving through the California Legislature is SB 411 by Sen. Curren Price (D-Los Angeles), a bill that would require the certification of all home care workers. Requiring the state to certify each worker when they number in the hundreds of thousands would create a bottleneck that would severely restrict access to care for our most vulnerable citizens. And we find it stunning that the legislation applies only to the private sector that pay for the care themselves – those who often are middle class and earn too much to quality for government assistance. In Home Supportive Services union workers who serve low income elderly and disabled adults, and those serving developmentally disabled in government programs, are exempt from this requirement.

Under Price’s legislation, each home care agency would have to pay an annual licensing fee of nearly $4,000 and additional charges of $165 per employee per year. In my case, this would mean an unbelievable $185,000 in additional fees each year. These exorbitant fees would drive up the cost of care for many working families already struggling to pay for the care they need.

While these proposals are unworkable, there is a more reasoned approach to balancing the call for increased regulations and consumer needs. The California Association for Health Services at Home is supporting AB 899 (not to be confused with AB 889) by Assemblywoman Mariko Yamada (D-Davis), chair of the Assembly Committee on Aging and Long Term Care. Yamada’s bill would require that home care organizations be licensed and regulated by the state and be responsible for the caregivers they hire. The estimated $8 million cost of this bill is far less than SB 411’s price tag of $25 million.

According to the California Healthcare Foundation, the number of Californians age 65 and older is likely to more than triple between 2000 and 2050, with the 85-and-older group experiencing the largest increase.

The aging of our population is happening at a time when government is cutting funding for social and safety net services. Is it fair, then, for government to implement unrealistic rules and regulations that only drive up costs for those who will have to pay for any additional help themselves? On behalf of my colleagues and my clients, I would say it is not. Barry Berger is president of Accredited Home Health Services in Woodland Hills, which provides in-home care. He also is chairman of the California Association for Health Services at Home.

Middle-aged women in their mid- to late 40’s are now caring for both their own children and caring for aging parents as well. These family jugglers are being pulled in many different directions at once and so are feeling a lot of stress. Most are working full time and provide an average of 20 hours of care a week to one or more family members.

Are you one such woman or are you married to one? According to AARP 40-70 percent of caregivers of older adults have clinically significant signs of depression and may be at a higher risk for heart disease, diabetes and cancer.

Some ways you can prevent these problems are in accepting the new role you play, what that means in the long run and what you need to know to do your best.

There are seven things that WebMD suggest in http://www.webmd.com/alzheimers/features/alzheimers-caregivers-sandwiched-between-parenting-your-kids-and-your-parents?page=2.

1. Your loved one may live for many years. Many people with Alzheimer’s live for eight years or longer. Being a caregiver is a serious long-term commitment.
2. The demands of Alzheimer’s caregiving will increase. As the disease progresses your loved one will need more and more help. In the advanced stages it’s a fulltime 40 hour a week job.
3. Caregiving will affect your job. According to Beth Kallmyer, MSW, of the Alzheimer’s Association, about 50% of caregivers work full or part-time and 2/3 of them say that caregiving had a significant impact on their career.
4. Being an Alzheimer’s caregiver will affect your family. You cannot shelter your children from your loved one’s disease and you shouldn’t. Helping will teach your children more than you can imagine, as well as be good for your loved one.
5. Caregiving will affect your finances. “Estimates for the average financial impact on a family for caregiving ranges from $16,000 to $70,000 a year,” says Guy S. Eakin, PhD, from the Alzheimer’s Disease Research program at the American Health Assistance Foundation.
6. You can’t be an Alzheimer’s caregiver alone. It’s too much for one person who has kids and a job, too. You will need help from others in your family, doctors, local and national organizations and people like us at Sequoia Senior Solutions.
7. Caregiving requires skills. Taking care of someone with Alzheimer’s is not intuitive. If you go by the natural thing to do, you can be doing something wrong. You need to study the disease and consult with healthcare professionals, counselors and other caregivers, like Leeza Gibbons on our Monday videos.

You don’t have to do this on your own. We or other healthcare professionals are willing to help in any way we can. You are not alone. Do you need help?

Stanton Lawson is the Co-Owner of Sequoia Senior Solutions. Sequoia’s mission is to ensure a better quality of life for their elderly clients and their families, by providing dependable and affordable in-home care. Sequoia’s focus is to keep you or your loved ones at home and avoid:

 

 

• Loss of friends and possessions
• Loss of independence and freedom
• Loss of spirit which is drained by the battles of daily living

Sequoia Senior Solutions, Inc. services Lake, Marin, Mendocino, Napa, Sonoma and Solano Counties. The main office is located at191 Lynch Creek Way, Suite 102, Petaluma, CA 94954. Email admin@sequoiaseniorsolutions.com  Tel: (707) 763-6600 Fax: (707) 763-6607, www.sequoiaseniorsolutions.com.

Related articles

• Alzheimer’s Caregivers: Sandwiched Between Parenting Your Kids and Your Parents (pdresources.wordpress.com)
• Respite Care Services: Helping Caregivers Get a Break (sequoiaseniorsolutionsblog.com)

For caregivers, guilt carries a double whammy: It's almost always unproductive, yet it's ever-present. Guilt over not doing enough. Guilt over not being there enough. Guilt over wrong choices, broken promises, lost tempers, unfinished conversations.

"Guilt is so common -- I would even feel guilty about the fact that I was healthy but my mother had Alzheimer's," says TV-radio personality Leeza Gibbons, founder of Leeza's Place communities for caregivers.

More tips:

Beware the oughtta-shoulda-couldas. For caregivers, this refrain can sound like, "I ought to be able to handle this; I'm her daughter." Or, "I shouldn't feel so happy about going someplace without Dad." Or, "I could have handled that better." Things (and feelings) are what they are; stewing or denying wastes precious energy.

Distinguish between good guilt and bad guilt. Good guilt is the kind that causes us to examine our behavior and make a change, if necessary. If you feel guilty because, say, you were impatient with a loved one with dementia, it's like a little poke reminding you to try a bit harder next time. Unfortunately, what eats most of us alive is bad guilt. Bad guilt has no constructive underbelly. Bad guilt makes you feel guilty about a situation that you can't help (your parent has to move into rehab, for example) or that is actually a positive for you (you're hiring home care because you can't do it all yourself).

Realize that there's no ideal "enough." Even if you spent every second with your loved one and attended to every need, you'd still find something else to feel guilty about. Guilt is that pervasive. Don't let it eat you alive.

Instead, celebrate your good intentions. We feel guilty because we want so much to do the right thing. By and large, that is what you're doing! Shift your focus to all the things you do right, not to the few things that are less-than-right.

Are you having these problems? Please tell us how you are dealing with them?

Related articles

• Reducing Caregiver Stress (lawprofessors.typepad.com)
• Book all caregivers should read (kristycaremanager.wordpress.com)

Three Faces of the Sandwich Generation

Are you a member of the Sandwich Generation? Are you taking care of your own children and your elderly parents at the same time? If you, welcome to the Sandwich Generation.

There are around 65 million people in the U.S., mostly women, who are taking care of an elderly parent, most often one with dementia or Alzheimer’s disease. This is a very hard job. Add to that they are also raising their own kids and possibly working at the same time.

Frustrated?

“You’re already a parent to your children, and then suddenly you have to become a caregiver to your parent,” says Donna Schempp, LCSW, program director at the Family Caregiver Alliance in San Francisco. “It’s very hard to be constantly flipping between those different roles.”

As someone in the Sandwich Generation, you are squeezed between the two roles you are playing. It’s not easy and can test your family, marriage, health and career. You know what I am talking about.

So it is important for you to learn more about the disease your elderly parent suffers from and learn how to plan in order to make your life easier (I didn’t say easy) for your family and yourself.

The first thing you have to accept is that you are a person with a job, a family and now a parent with, say, Alzheimer’s disease. So you need to accept the new role of caregiver.

Just helping out or caregiving?

You don’t think so? You think all you are doing is taking your mother shopping and putting out her trash. Well, welcome to being a caregiver. According to Donna Schempp, “Caregiving doesn’t just mean taking care of a loved one 24 hours a day. If you’re helping a parent out with the basics of living, you’re a caregiver. If your visits have stopped being social and become a necessity, you’re a caregiver.”

The experts say that the sooner you accept the role, the better for you and your family. You all have a lot to prepare for. Are you going to take your loved one into your home? Do you have the money to support care in a nursing facility? You need to look into getting some home health care.

We at Sequoia Senior Solutions can help you figure out what you need to do to make the transition to adding caregiver to your list of duties. Over the next few weeks we are going to look at how being a caregiver will affect your family, your job and yourself. Since these are just going to be general posts, each of your situations will be differently and you need to seek help figuring out how you will cope.

Where you aware you were a caregiver? Are you a member of the Sandwich Generation?

Stanton Lawson is the Co-Owner of Sequoia Senior Solutions. Sequoia’s mission is to ensure a better quality of life for their elderly clients and their families, by providing dependable and affordable in-home care. Sequoia’s focus is to keep you or your loved ones at home and avoid:

 

 

• Loss of friends and possessions
• Loss of independence and freedom
• Loss of spirit which is drained by the battles of daily living

Sequoia Senior Solutions, Inc. services Lake, Marin, Mendocino, Napa, Sonoma and Solano Counties. The main office is located at191 Lynch Creek Way, Suite 102, Petaluma, CA 94954. Email admin@sequoiaseniorsolutions.com  Tel: (707) 763-6600 Fax: (707) 763-6607, www.sequoiaseniorsolutions.com.

Related articles

• Alzheimer’s Caregivers: The Sandwich Generation (webmd.com)
• Caregiver Confessions with Leeza Gibbons (sequoiaseniorsolutionsblog.com)